No One's Ever Really Gone
by WizMonCruWil
Summary: ""Now, Ben, my brave husband, our long wait has ended. Smile, Ben, for your wife will lie with you tonight at last. You will come to take me home. This is the hour I swore I'd see. I alone can tell now what the end will be." Picking up the picture frame, she cuddled it close and stroked it, her smile beaming with love and barely suppressed excitement." This one is a TROS fix it.
1. Chapter 1: A Terrible Sight

**Chapter 1: A Terrible Sight **

Poe Dameron and Finn raced into the imposing temple on Exogol, blasters trained and at the ready. Lightning flashed angrily in the skies above them, but neither man stopped for anything.

"Come on, come on! Faster!" Finn bellowed, unsure if Poe could even hear him. At last, the pair burst onto a rocky plain centered in some sort of arena. But when they got inside, a terrible sight met their eyes.

Rey was kneeling on the ground, cradling a pile of black clothes and weeping. She appeared broken, utterly distraught. Mad and wracked with grief.

"Rey!" Finn dashed forward. "How did you... but I... I felt you die! I felt it in the Force!" He paused, as finally, he got a good look at the pile of black clothes. "Wait a minute? Where's Kylo Ren?"

He moved forward only a fraction, but Rey sprang back as though he was training a blaster on her. She cuddled the bundle of clothes covetously. "DON'T TOUCH HIM!" she screamed.

Lowering his blaster, Poe appeared utterly baffled. "Touch who? There's no one..."

"Ohhhhhhh..." Rey wailed, the sound breaking up into heaving sobs as she wept bitterly. "Oh, my Ben... you traded your life to save mine..."

Finn and Poe looked at each other, befuddled and deeply concerned. Both men felt, but neither commented on, the goosebumps now chilling up their flesh.

"Any explanation at all?" Poe asked.

Finn shook his head. "None in the slightest." Turning back to his best friend, he approached her, more cautiously this time. "Rey... Rey, come here..." His voice was gentle and soothing as he gradually helped her to her feet. Upon regaining her footing, however, Rey almost immediately twisted away.

"Don't touch him," she warbled, her eyes wild and twinged with fear. Finn held up his hands in surrender.

"I won't touch him..." he played along.

"Please don't take him from me..."

"We aren't taking his clothes... er, him from you," Poe amended, eyeing Rey in a disturbed manner. "You can keep him with you. We promise."

Wordlessly, the three friends staggered out of the temple, Rey cradling the black garments as she would a baby. Behind her, Finn whispered to his commander, "Why's she so obsessed over a bundle of old rags?"

Poe thought he knew. Watching Rey's retreating back dragging in a funeral march to their ship, he noted sadly, "Because it's all she has left of him."

* * *

When she had said farewell to the boys, Poe had gifted her with both BB8 and D-O in a fit of galant concern. He didn't want her to be alone, and Rey seemed to appreciate the gesture. Aside from the droids, all that Rey carried with her was her lightsaber staff, the Skywalker twins' lightsabers, the bundle of Ben's clothing - cowl and all - and the clothes on her own back.

The Lars homestead wasn't difficult to find. There was a legendary mystique about the place and it clearly had not seen any foot traffic for years. Finding a slab of sandstone nearby, Rey erected it, then used the lightsabers to carve into it:

HERE LIES BEN SKYWALKER SOLO, BELOVED SON, NEPHEW. She paused, then taking a shaky breath, she added, AND HUSBAND. Then Rey silently buried the lightsabers of the Skywalker twins beneath the marked, but empty, grave.

"Excuse me, miss?" Rey turned to find a stranger, an old woman, looking at her. "No one's been out around these parts for years. What's your name?"

"My name?" Rey echoed. She glanced away, out to the horizon... and almost swore that she saw the shimmering spirits of Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa. Turning back to the stranger, she answered. "I'm Rey."

"Rey who?"

A pause, and then she stated firmly. "Rey Skywalker." And in taking part of his name, Rey married Ben in her heart, as a last act of fidelity to her lost love.

The stranger smiled, then toddled away. Turning back to the grave, tears trickled down Rey's cheeks as she vowed in a whisper, "I will never love again." Holding back a sob, she pressed a tender kiss to the tombstone.


	2. Chapter 2: Leave Me Here To Die

**Chapter 2: Leave Me Here to Die**

It was many months later when Poe Dameron's X-wing touched down in the sands of Tatooine. Looking over just beyond the next dune, the pilot and his companion beheld a tiny hut. A slab of rock stood several yards off the front door - the only landmark on the entire, er, lawn.

"This is where she lives?" Poe frowned.

Smushed in the back, Finn hardly had even the space to shrug. "That's what I heard..."

"Funny little dwelling. Sure could use a man's touch," Poe commented. There was a momentary, strained silence before he huffed and raised the viewfinder, hauling himself up out of the cockpit. "Well, come on, buddy! We have an errand to complete."

Poe was here to invite Rey to his and Zorri Bliss's wedding. And also to check on his friend. The invitation seemed like the perfect excuse. Striding up to the door, Finn stumbling after him in the deep sand, Poe knocked on the wooden door purposefully.

"Rey?"

"Go away!" Rey called from inside, her voice so forceful that Poe staggered back a step. He and Finn glanced to each other, frowning deeply, before Poe tried again.

"Rey, don't be like that! It's us! Poe and Finn! We have some great news to tell you!" No response from the other side. Poe's brow furrowed in annoyance. "Young lady, you'd better come on out of there, or we're coming in after you! I mean it, _Rey Palpatine_!"

For a moment, there was chilling silence. And then...

BANG!

Poe was just turning away from the door to ask Finn to try, when the door was suddenly blasted off its hinges. The wood crashed into Poe's back and he sprawled forward, pinning him to the ground as he got a face full of sand. Next minute however, the weight was being removed from his back, only for his throat to inexplicably constrict.

At first, Poe thought he had swallowed some sand in taking his tumble, but then he felt his body rise into the air and twist around. Clawing at his neck, his face quickly turning purple, Poe's pupils dilated in terror at Rey on the ground below him. Her expression was positively murderous. Stone was not nearly as cold as her expression.

"Don't... call me that!" Her voice was grating, growled low and sounded like something feral. "That name no longer has any meaning for me. My name is Rey _Skywalker_, and I'll thank you to remember that!"

"OK! OK!" Poe squeaked. Finn got between them and started tugging at Rey's clenched fist.

"Rey! Stop it! Stop it!" Rey finally released Poe and he crumpled to the ground, gulping in air. To the Jedi's credit, she appeared deeply remorseful.

"I'm sorry," she got out, her voice now quite suddenly as meek as a mouse, while she raced forward to help Poe to his feet.

"A...Apology accepted," Poe coughed through the words. "Though I have half a mind to not invite you to my wedding!"

For just a split second, Rey's eyes brightened. "Zorri said Yes?"

Poe grinned weakly. "She did. Although I don't think she'd fancy her Maid of Honor killing all the guests!"

Rey's orbs widened in pleasant surprise. Then they dimmed. "Me? Oh, Poe... I'm... I'm honored... but I can't."

Poe's entire face collapsed in on itself in stunned disappointment. "Why not? I..."

"I just _can't_!" Rey bit. She steadied herself with a breath, her voice more measured as she asked, "Do you both want to come in?"

Poe and Finn shared a look, their deep concern mirroring each other as they nodded, and followed Rey inside.

Her hovel was... well, a mess. Dirty dishes sat piled in the sink. Through an archway, both men could see that her bed was rumpled. Dark spots could be seen on the pillow. As Rey moved to clear the table of junk - power converters, compressors and other tinkering delights - Finn happened to glance to the far wall.

One whole section was covered in tiny tick marks. The former Stormtrooper started to count them, then gave up.

"You, uh... you counting the days since you've been here or something?" Finn stammered nervously. Behind him, he could sense that Poe had noticed the tick marks too.

"1,235," Rey blurted out, sounding eerily like a robot. There was a faraway look in her eyes, she appeared dazed almost.

"Been here that long, huh?" Poe's chuckle was forced. Turning back to the wall, Finn peered closer. At the far side of the primitive calendar, was tiny handwriting. He had to squint to read the scrawl. _Days Without My Ben_, it said.

A shudder overtook Finn's body as his worst fear was realized. This was worse than he had ever allowed himself to imagine. "Oh, Rey..." he breathed.

But she was no longer paying attention to either of them. Rey's focus was instead on a tiny picture frame, propped near the sink. Picking it up, she began to stroke it, with absolute adoration in her eyes.

"Doesn't he look so handsome? It was his mother's. It's... the only picture I have of him." Drifting closer, she showed her friends. The Ben Solo staring back at them was significantly younger than the one they remembered, but the signs of the man he would one day become were all there.

"Sometimes, I wrap myself in his clothes and fall asleep in them..." Rey's voice was distant, even before it trailed off. She was now staring at an empty spot on the far wall. Poe's and Finn's gazes snapped together and they both winced. The thought was collective, and unspoken: _This shit is bad_. Then Finn registered what Rey had said.

"Wait a minute... you fall asleep wearing his _clothes_? The pile of dirty black laundry you took from Exogol?"

In an instant, Rey was on him, her hand raised threateningly and her teeth bared. "It is _not_ dirty black laundry! Have you no heart? It's all I have left of my husband!"

Poe stilled. "_Husband_? Did I just hear the word _husband_? When... when in Maker's name did you marry that..." Rey glowered at him, and he amended his adjective in the nick of time, "...man?"

"In my heart," Rey sighed. "My name is his, my soul is bound to his..." Tears rapidly glistened in her irises. Poe felt something bump against his leg, followed by a chittering. He absentmindedly patted little BB8's head.

"Did you stand before a minister and say I Do?" Finn prodded.

Rey started, glancing away. "Well... no."

"Then you were never married. Heart or not, you're not married!"

Rey's eyes narrowed, turning black as coal, and her voice came out in a dangerous whisper. "How dare you..." She suddenly grabbed Finn's hand, and for one, mad moment, he thought she was going to strike him. But instead, she dragged him out of the hut. Nerves absolutely shot, Poe dithered after them.

Rey led them to the slab of sandstone out in the front yard and pointed sharply at it. Both men took their time reading the inscription. Finally, they both glanced to her, sympathy in their eyes but still deeply confused.

"As far as I'm concerned, I married Ben Solo when we first kissed on Exogol. It was a kiss fueled by the bonds of love. It was a promise - just as sacred as any wedding vow. Ben and I are forever joined... and you cannot deny that - not with a thousand words. And you cannot break it - not with a thousand lightsabers or blasters. And I know that Ben took me as his wife, that he would and did have me as his bride, in his final moments. I saw it in the last smile he ever graced me with. I am his wife, his grieving widow. My name is Rey Skywalker and Rey Skywalker I shall stay."

Poe and Finn nodded numbly. "But, Rey... you can't stay _here_..." Poe floated gently.

She glared. "I can and I will!" Marching with purpose, she flounced back into her hut, the boys following her.

"Rey, look around you! Your hut is a mess, you look like you've gone mad! Do you take care of BB8 and D-O at all, or even know they're there?" Finn almost shouted his concern. "At least come out once in a while! Go somewhere! I know that attending Poe's wedding will do you some good!" He desperately, desperately wanted her to go to Poe's wedding, if it meant getting her away from this place - where her voice trailed off, she stared at empty air and she took to her bed wearing a dead man's clothes as her nightgown. Where she manically scratched tick marks on the wall like she was in some kind of prison cell.

Rey just turned back to him, her eyes and voice heartbreakingly despairing. "Leave me here to die," she pleaded sadly. "The only place I want to go is whatever is after this life, where my sweet Ben is waiting for me. If I will it hard enough, the Force will bend to my wishes and take me to him. Just leave me here to die, Finn..."

Finn's eyes were bulged in abject horror. What, oh what, had Ben Solo _done_ to her? To the Rey he once knew? "No..." He shook his head frantically.

"Finn..."

"NO!" He bellowed the phrase into being, sucking all other sound from the room. The former trooper broke down in tears. "I can't watch you die!" He wept. "Rey... I love you!"

She didn't seem to hear him. Tentatively, Poe put an arm around her shoulder. All at once, he was startled by how he could feel her bones through her skin. When was the last time she ate? Her petite form was waifish, even more than she had apparently ever been on Jakku. "Rey..." His voice faltered, as he tried to think through what he was going to say. "Before you... _go_..." (Finn opened his mouth in horrified protestation at the euphemism, but then sharply closed it at Poe's look of warning) "... can you please do me the honor of attending my wedding? You can bring whatever you have of Ben. You'll have your own room..."

"Are you kriffing _out of your damn_...?!"

"Shut up," Poe snapped shortly at Finn. "And we'll get you some nice clothes and you can try on the pretty dress Zorri picked out for you. It shouldn't go to waste."

Against his chest, Rey nodded numbly. "All right," she got out meekly.

Poe grinned in relief. "Excellent. Pack your things." Rey trudged into her room. As soon as she was gone, Finn nearly attacked Poe with accosting objections, but the pilot would have none of it. "We will get her proper medical care and decent food. I don't care if I have to _make_ her receive it! But you need to keep your howling. Trap. Shut. At least until we get there."

Poe's hissing was not heard by Rey, who emerged from her room a moment later with her packed satchel. Crossing to the sink, she lovingly took Ben's picture and laid it with dainty care in the bag. Shouldering her lightsaber staff, she beckoned to the droids. "BB8, D-O, come on."

"I'll fly with you in your ship!" Finn offered. "Riding in Poe's X-wing is a tight squeeze." Mostly, however, he meant to fly with her to keep an eye on her.

Before long, the two ships were flying out of Tatooine's airspace...


	3. Chapter 3: Coming Back From the Edge

**Chapter 3: Coming Back from the Edge**

As he did every morning, Finn deliberately took a meandering path down to the hotel ballroom. A deep-seated icy noose around his heart commanded him to check on her every morning. To see if she had made it through the night.

Stopping at Rey's door, he gingerly set down the breakfast tray that room service had sent up, replacing the laden dinner tray he had set out the night before.

If Finn didn't know where to look, one might think that the dinner tray had sat outside the stoop all night, untouched. But Finn could see that one whole piece of bread was missing. And the cup of bantha milk was only a quarter-full. Two of the four apple slices were also gone. It was a small, pyrrhic victory - days ago, Rey had only ever managed to get down a nibble of toast, and that was with Finn looking directly over her shoulder in the mess hall.

He hadn't seen Rey since then. She had taken to her room and refused to speak to or see anyone, forcing Finn to deliver her meals. Poe's wedding was three days away, and Finn now wondered if he would have to coax Rey out to attend. Kriff, he wondered if she would even be able to dress herself in the pretty bridesmaid dress; Rose and Kaydel had needed to help her into it, the day they arrived on Coruscant.

Pausing with the dinner tray, Finn concentrated on the Force and listened. Her life essence was thrumming, but dormant and docile - he dared to hope that she was sleeping well for once. Half-satisfied, Finn took the used dinner tray down to the mess hall before crossing to the ballroom.

Poe was seated at a table, studying colors for tablecloths and clearing them for prior approval. He glanced up at Finn's approach.

"Check on Rey? How is she?"

"Asleep. I could feel it. She ate maybe a fifth of her dinner, so that's something."

Poe turned over a tablecloth swatch. "She still won't open the door? Talk to you?"

"I tried two days ago. Not a word."

Poe leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh, running a hand over his face. "We had better hope she dons that dress and shows up..."

Suddenly, Finn felt the Force tingling at the back of his brain. Something wasn't right...

"Poe, come on," he said. The strangled tone made Poe follow in a brisk walk. Halfway to the elevators, they broke into a run.

* * *

The curtains were pulled to, blocking out the sunlight. By the light of candles, Rey donned herself in the white tunic that she had worn in her final battle with the Emperor. The same white tunic she had worn when Ben's kiss had left her breathless. It was the only outfit, aside from Ben's robes, that she had ever bothered to launder, and she did so with loving care. For all intents and purposes, this had been her bridal gown, and she reverently treated it as such. Finishing dressing, she turned with a smile towards the picture of Ben standing on the dresser.

"Now, Ben, my brave husband, our long wait has ended. Smile, Ben, for your wife will lie with you tonight at last. You will come to take me home. This is the hour I swore I'd see. I alone can tell now what the end will be." Picking up the picture frame, she cuddled it close and stroked it, her smile beaming with love and barely suppressed excitement. "Let me look at you one last time. I won't forget what I see... One more kiss," she pressed her wet lips on the image. "and then I'll say goodbye."

Crossing behind the dressing partition, the candles illuminated Rey in shadow as she took out her lightsaber staff - the one that she had made just after Ben's death. Holding the hilt to her stomach, Rey serenely smiled...

... and then flipped the switch.

There was the piercing whoosh of the blade being activated clean through her midsection. Falling backward, Rey's hand thumbed the switch errantly so that the blade switched off again, but it had done its job. Smiling dreamily, she swooned to the floor, the lightsaber hilt not leaving her hand.

A split second later, there was PEW! as the door handle was blasted loose, then the whole door crashed aside as it was kicked in. Poe and Finn burst into the hotel room.

"NO!" Finn yelled, rushing to Rey's side and cradling her close. "Rey... RE-EY!" His scream was primal. Rey's body shook, her eyes rapidly becoming unfocused even as she gazed at him. Finn broke down in tears.

"What have you done, Rey? Why?"

"Finn... let me go..."

"_Never_!" Finn thundered. Picking her up, he sprinted towards the med ward across the street as fast as his legs would carry him, Poe pelting after him and screaming into a comlink to get doctors on the scene immediately...

* * *

The medics managed to save Rey's life, stabilize her, though it had been a near thing. Twice, her heart stopped on the operating table.

The lightsaber wound was healed by stitching so precise, it was almost miraculous. No one had ever heard of someone surviving a lightsaber wound like that (at least without the help of the Force), and Finn could only hope that the miracle would stick.

Rey was released by the next afternoon. After Rey begged him to be allowed back to her own room and left in peace, Poe only agreed on the condition that all weapons be confiscated. He took everything: her lightsaber staff. Her blaster which had once belonged to her practically-father-in-law, Han Solo. Mercifully, the commander spared all her momentos of Ben, but not before Poe even took the glass out of the picture frame, afraid that Rey might try to cut herself with it, if desperate enough.

That night, Rey adorned herself in Ben's black robes. She didn't care if the cowl, pants and tunic made her look ridiculous, and the uniquely Ben smell of the fabric had faded long ago.

As the mourning Jedi turned to climb into bed, the temperature suddenly and inexplicably dropped in the room. Then there was a voice - a voice she thought she might never hear again, but even now, in her grief, swelled her heart.

"Your choice of nightwear is unorthodox perhaps, but you look beautiful in anything."

Rey slowly turned around. Her jaw dropped. And her eyes alighted with hope for the first time in what seemed like years. "Ben?" she whispered.

And there he stood - blue and glowing but still looking almost solid. Choking back a sob, Rey crossed to embrace him. She felt him hold her. His form underneath her touch was not quite solid, and yet more than translucent. All at once here and not here. Rey happily nuzzled her face into his neck, breaking down in tears. Ben's head rested on top of hers, his fingers stroking her hair.

"Ssssh... ssssssh, my love... It's all right..."

"Why did you have to go?" Rey whimpered, snuggling closer.

"I didn't have a choice, as much as I wanted one. And I couldn't bear to live without you."

"But I can?" Rey challenged. She whimpered again and burrowed herself in his warmth ever further. "No, I can't."

"Oh, my sweet darling..." Ben crooned. "You're so strong. And my heart cries for you as much as yours does for me. But killing yourself to be with me is not the answer."

She peered up into his face. "Then what is? Seeing you only in my dreams can only do so much good..."

Ben grinned with pure love. "Perhaps so. Would visiting you by night dull the pain?"

She gasped, eyes shining. "Every night," she pleaded. "Every single night for the rest of my days. Let me sleep beside you like I was meant to!" Reaching up to caress his face, she had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss him desperately, her lips puckering frantically all along his face. At long last, Ben growled and captured her lips in his.

"Mmmmm..." Rey swooned with a groan, her eyes rolling shut and her arms looping lazily about his neck. A hundred years could go by, and she still would remember the taste of his lips on hers. Stumbling back towards the bed, she felt Ben's hands stroke her face, the swelling underside of her breasts, her bum. She shivered in uncontrollable delight. Tumbling back onto the mattress, Ben peeled his old garments off of her, one article at a time. Rey's hands wandered everywhere, trying to return to favor.

It was so strange - kissing a ghost. Having the form of a ghost pressed against her body. With a wave of his hand, Ben's ghostly apparel faded away so that he lay naked before her.

Breaking the dreamy kiss, Rey gulped, her big, brown eyes suddenly nervous. "Can... can you...?"

Ben beamed. "Only if you want me to," he purred. His voice sounded like liquid honey.

Rey arched her back, tears swimming from her eyelids. Her consent was delivered with a raspy croak. "_Please_." She gently spread her legs, so that Ben could nestle between her weak knees. She felt a bloated, wild thing brush up against the inside of her thigh, the foreskin sticky and throbbing.

And then... Ben slowly pushed inside of her.

Heaven. That was what it felt like to have a ghost make love to her. Rey could feel his body rippling against her, and yet at the same time, it felt like a warm summer breeze was sweeping her up. Their Bond, the Force itself, sang like a choir of angels. Within her core, the pleasure built and built, the Force growing and cresting right along with Rey as her body quaked and wriggled. Pathetic moans were torn from her lips, then supped into the wind by every kiss Ben pulled from her lips.

"Uhhhhh... Huhhh... Ohhhhh... Hmmmmm... Ben... Oh... Ohhhhhh... OHHHHHHHH!"

Ben's face was in her neck, kissing and nipping at the sweaty skin before brushing up to her earlobe. Then came the sweetest of whispers, as Ben let out those three little words. "_I love you_."

The Force exulted, crashing over Rey like a giant wave, overwhelming her. Feeling as though she was being dunked into a hot springs, Rey arched her back, clutching Ben possessively as she happily screamed her release. Her throat became raw as all it could do was cry his name. "BEN! BENNN!"

Ben moaned through another slam. Then, with a manly grunt, he came deep inside her tight, throbbing walls. Collapsing against her, Ben softly pushed the sweaty hair out of Rey's face. She appeared positively dazed, her eyes glazed over. But then she fixed him with a loving stare and there it was. That beaming, dazzling smile.

The couple laughed softly before pressing their lips together in a chaste, simple kiss. Rey and Ben fell asleep in each other's arms. Holding him without any intention of letting go, Rey slumbered better than she had in nearly forever.


	4. Chapter 4: A Savior

**Chapter 4: A Savior**

Rey awoke deliriously from her sleep the next morning to find her bed half-empty. But Ben's warmth lingered, the smell and heat of him upon her naked skin. A tiny flicker of his Force essence seemed to linger too.

She happily and languidly rose from bed, her muscles burning from such... wonderful sex. Words failed her. It had not been some fantasy dream! It was all real. Ben had appeared to her and kissed her and made sweet love to her. She had been kissed and attended to by an angel. The endorphins consumed her body, leaving Rey lightheaded and giddy.

Hugging herself and inhaling deeply, Rey's hands traced back over every place where Ben had touched her last night. Her eyes closed dreamily at the memory as she went slack-jawed, and she let out a pining sigh. He had made love to her like a gentleman.

And this fantasy come to life would never have to cease. He would visit her again that night, she knew. She would still yet get to do what every wife wished to do and that was please her husband and lie next to him in love and bliss. As long as the moon remained high, she could see and be with her love both awake and asleep. Dreams and reality would blur together. Paradise without end... at least until the morning.

Rey's hands ghosted over her stomach, recalling with happiness how Ben had kissed and licked at her navel with such gentle care. All at once, the lingering flicker of Ben's Force essence surged... and then strangely mixed with Rey's own.

Frowning, Rey caressed her abdomen... and there it was again. No... more than just two colliding Force essences... but a blend of both. A part of her and a part of Ben. Gasping, Rey cupped the skin around her belly. An ever so slight roundness awaited her touch.

Clapping a hand to her mouth, Rey tried and failed to hide back a happy sob. The Force and Ben had come over her last night and left her with a gift unparalleled in beauty and wonder. Rey had no doubt of how she had been transformed.

"There is life with me," she breathed, enraptured. She burst into joyous tears. She began dancing around the room, laughing and crying and yelping in jubilation.

"Thank the Force for this miracle! I will bear Ben Solo's child and be its mother and shower our baby with love worth 10,0000 children! Oh, the Force and all the Jedi be praised!" She fell to her knees in genuflection, her hands clasped in answered, grateful prayer. "Oh, Master Luke, may it be done to me according to the Force's will. I say it on my knees, Master Luke - on my knees!" With a happy shout, Rey hurriedly dressed, caressing and stroking and kissing her belly, still mostly soft and flat, but that would show the signs of pregnancy and impending motherhood soon enough. She practically ran to the mess hall.

Poe and Finn were stunned to see their friend out and about. And even more flabbergasted to see her so cheerful, beaming. One would not have known that just night before last, she had tried to kill herself.

"What's got you giddy as a songbird?" Poe chuckled in perplexion.

Rey gathered him and Finn close, her eyes shining, lashes fluttering. She was flitting, almost unable to sit still. "Poe, Finny... can you keep a secret?" The men side-eyed each other from across the table and nodded. "Last night was my _wedding night_!" Rey squealed, loudly enough that her friends had to shush her.

Poe gaped at Finn. "Is she drunk?"

"Rey, what are you talking about?" Finn pressed, ignoring the pilot's question.

"Ben came to visit me last night," Rey prattled on breathlessly. "His angel came into my bed and he made the most _tender_ love to me." Clutching her stomach, she beamed in breathless delight. "The Force has shown me mercy and smiled down on me. The Force has found favor with me. I am with child."

Poe and Finn's mouths simultaneously fell open. "She's lost her mind!" Poe spluttered.

"Well, then HELP HER!"

"Damn it, Finn, I'm a General, not a doctor!"

Just then, Finn felt a strange essence brush up against his in the Force. Frowning, he reached out a hand and focused on it. It felt like Rey... but only partially. The other part... felt like... almost as if...

Finn's eyes flew open. Noticing his concentration, Rey had been watching him eagerly, searchingly. "It _is_ Ben's, isn't it?" Finn gasped.

Rey was radiant. "Yes," she breathed, bubbled. Poe nearly fell off his chair.

"You mean she really is...?"

"The Force never lies," Finn stated firmly. Finally, with a smile, he took Rey's hand and squeezed it. "Congratulations. Let us treasure this happy miracle."

Rey beamed. Leaning across the table, she pecked his cheek. "I'm going to try on my dress for tomorrow!" She happily leaped up.

"Rey?"

She turned back. "Yes?" her voice was sweet.

"Would you like to attend the wedding with me?" Finn asked, suddenly appearing nervous.

Rey grinned. "I'd be honored, my dearest friend." And she practically floated away.

* * *

The next day, Rey arrived at Poe and Zorri's wedding on Finn's arm. It seemed only natural that the friends go together, as Finn was Best Man and Rey was Maid of Honor. When Poe and Zorri were declared husband and wife, the Jedi burst into tears. Perhaps her emotion was over the wedding ceremony she never got to have.

Zorri was practically glowing during the reception, never leaving Poe's arms on the dance floor. Finn and Rey also danced exclusively with each other - a point that caused some tension with a jilted Rose Tico. Jannah struggled to make peace between the group. Finally, Finn guided Rey out the back door to remove themselves from the situation.

"Won't Rosie get suspicious?" Rey asked him.

"Rose can think whatever she likes. Besides, it's not like I've been able to hide my feelings very well. How can I?"

He was looking at her very strangely then. Rey peered at him searchingly, and then her eyes widened as understanding dawned. He was drifting much too close to her. "No... Finn, don't..."

But Finn had already taken her in his arms and his mouth was slanting over hers. Rey's eyes bulged and she whimpered a little in confusion. Finally, she was able to nudge him away and step out of the kiss, breathing heavily to get air.

"Finny... we have to talk about this reasonably." Another thought struck her. "Is this what you wanted to tell me, back on Pasanna?"

The grin Finn now sent her was lovesick, and for a moment, Rey wondered if he was drunk. "The Force brought us together for a reason. I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you - what could be more reasonable than to marry you?"

_Marry?_ Rey gaped in utter shock, blinking. "We'd kill each other!" she cried flatly.

"Nonsense!" And Finn almost laughed the word.

"Neither of us can keep our temper... We're both _stupidly_ stubborn, especially you - we'd only quarrel."

"I wouldn't!"

Rey couldn't help but giggle, staring at him with sentimental affection. "You can't even _propose_ without quarreling."

Finn was still beaming, breathless. Taking her hand, he kissed her knuckles. "Dearest Rey... marry me. I'll raise your baby and love it as though it were my own."

Rey sighed deeply, her face deep in thought before she dared to meet his eyes again. She bit her lip. "Can I think about it?"

Finn nodded eagerly. Taking his hand, Rey guided him back into the party...

* * *

Ben's heat and scent were all over her as he embraced her from behind. His hands beautifully cupped the swell of her breasts. His breath was hot on her neck as he lavished deep kisses down the curve of Rey's neck. Rey leaned back into him, lashes fluttering closed, her face utterly relaxed in contentment as she moaned. She wriggled happily as she felt Ben's arms now encircle her waist, coming to rest over her abdomen where their baby lay nestled within.

"You're so beautiful," Ben whispered to her. "Do you have any kriffing idea, how beautiful you are, carrying my child?"

"_Our_ child," Rey breathed in a blissful sigh. She craned her face around, and tucking a finger under Ben's chin, she kissed him softly. When she drew away, her eyes filled with tears. And Ben noticed.

"Are you all right, darling? Don't cry..."

"Finn kissed me today. At Poe's wedding. And... he asked me to marry him."

Ben was silent for long, long moments. "What did you say to him?" he finally voiced, his tone surprisingly measured. Rey would have thought her lover would have become insane with jealousy, especially when she considered how fiercely Ben had injured Finn on Starkiller Base, a lifetime ago.

"I didn't really give him an answer, one way or the other. And I didn't kiss him back; it was unexpected."

Ben nodded. "I believe you." Silence reigned once more, until he sighed. "Perhaps you should marry him. FN-2187 is a good man who will take care of you..."

"No."

"Rey, you could learn to love him. You would still have our baby... something to remember me by..."

"NO!" Rey turned about in his arms, resting her hands on his chest as she stared imploringly up into Ben's face. It was surprisingly quick and easy, how she had come to her decision. "Shall I forsake my husband? When you died, a part of me also died that day! I vowed that I would never love again. And I will not, cannot go back on my word." She took a shaky breath. "I don't want to break Finn's heart... but I could never love him the way I love you. And it wouldn't be fair to Finn if I tried."

Ben nodded. Cupping her face, he kissed Rey's lips desperately, her tears of love falling against his cheek. She nuzzled herself into his warmth, exhaling in peace. "I love you, Ben."

"I love you too, Rey. I love you so much."

Drawing back, Rey smiled at him weakly, tearfully. "Sleep with me?"

Like she had to ask. Meeting in a dizzying kiss, Ben tenderly lay her back onto her bed.

* * *

The next morning, Rey met Finn for breakfast in the mess hall. Smiling sadly, she held his hand in hers.

"I'm honored that you asked me, Finn. But... I can't accept. My heart will always be Ben's. Though I care for you deeply, it would never be fair to you for me to try to love you... like that and always pine for another."

Finn nodded dejectedly. "I understand."

Rey's expression deepened with remorse. "I'm sorry." She gently kissed his cheek. "Thank you, my friend."

Hours later, and back in her room, Rey was traumatized when Jannah came bursting in, screaming that she had found Finn dead in his room with a blaster bolt to the head and his gun in his hand.

Ben held Rey all night as she wept.


	5. Chapter 5: Something to Remember

**Chapter 5: Something to Remember **

Nine months later, Rey's water broke one morning over breakfast, while she was paying a visit over at the Damerons on Yavin IV. Feeling the pinch, the liquid streaming down her legs, Rey had clutched at her stomach and winced. Only one word escaped her: "Ow."

Poe and Zorri Dameron rushed the expecting Jedi to the medical wing at the former Rebel base. Hours upon hours of labor ensued, with Rey writhing and screaming on the gurney. Zorri gamely held her hand - a vast improvement from the distrust that had developed when the Jedi and the bounty hunter had first met.

"You're doing fine, honey. Now just breathe..." Rey only crushed Zorri's fingers in response.

"AHHHH! OHHHHHH! By the Force, help me... GUHHHHHH! Poe... Poe..."

Poe brushed Rey's sweaty bangs back from her forehead. "Keep pushing, kid - you're almost there. And then you can meet your baby."

Rey's expression just then became almost dreamy. "Baby..." she echoed. Then she grimaced in agony. "Oh, Maker, it's really coming... BEN! BENNNNN! Ben, pl-e-ee-ease... help me..."

It was like an answered prayer, for suddenly, there he was, standing before her. Even as a spirit, he still appeared so beautiful. Rey's face now drooped into besotted happiness. "He's here... I can feel him... Ben..."

"The baby's crowning!" Zorri yelped. "PUSH, Rey!"

With one last wrenching cry, Rey slid the baby out of her. Soon, the wails of an infant pierced the late morning. At the sound of her child, Rey moaned with love and reached for him, fear coming over her face as the nurses moved to whisk the child away.

"No..." she wailed, reaching. "Let me hold him..."

"You will, Master Jedi," the nurse promised. "Just let me clean him and cut the cord." This soon done, the babe was wrapped in swaddling clothes before being placed in Rey's arms. Beholding him for the first time, Rey moaned again in absolute adoration.

"Ohhhh... it's you... Oh, Ben, just look at him... look at what we made... he's so _beautiful_..." Brushing her face close to her son's, Rey murmured in raptured tones. "Ben Solo, Jr... Ben Solo, Jr... Ben Solo, Jr..."

Zorri leaned over to whisper to her husband. "Is she really talking to Ben?"

"Which one?" Poe cracked. "Jr. or Sr.?"

Zorri whacked him. "You know darn well which one."

Poe nodded. "He's here. He's appeared to her before."

"And you believe her?"

"Of course. This isn't the drugs talking, Zorri, trust me."

Zorri wiped at her eyes. She had not always believed in the Force, but if a baby could be conceived long after the father's death... well, then anything was possible. "That's... just lovely."

* * *

Mother and baby were released from the hospital the next morning. Poe had brought out a spare crib to place Ben Jr. in. For the first day or two, outside of feeding him and holding him, all Rey could do was watch her infant through the bars of his cradle. She was especially enamored with him when he was asleep, for that is when his features shone best.

He was Ben in most places, Thank the Maker. The pouty lips were those of his father, the adorably big ears. Rey giddily would point out every little detail to anyone who would listen.

"Look, Poe... this really is his son... He has kept me alive... They have the same smile..." She brushed a finger along little Ben's cheek. "He'll have so much of his father, for a long, long while..."


	6. Chapter 6: No One's Ever Really Gone

**Chapter 6: No One's Ever Really Gone**

The twin suns of Tatooine sent blazing light into her little boy's bedroom, even with the curtains over the windows. The dapple rays brushed against his locks of raven hair, making them almost sparkle.

Seven years since she had brought him into the world, and Rey still thought that her son was one of the most beautiful sights she had ever seen.

Standing over his bed, she caressed his face - that face that looked so eerily like his daddy's in sleep.

"Benny? Benny?" No response. She sat down on the edge of the mattress and shook him softly. "Good morning, my treasure. Time to wake up."

Also like his father, little Ben was hardly at all enthusiastic in the morning, but he did as his mother asked and got out of bed.

Mother and son sat at the breakfast table, Ben's face still heavy with sleep and almost nodding off into his cereal bowl. Rey had to occasionally smother him with kisses to keep him awake. He giggled and tried to shrug her off, and Rey promised to hold onto his secret reveling in her affection for as long as she could. She prayed the teenage years wouldn't come too fast. Petting his head, Rey let her eyes wander around their little hovel.

The white tick marks on the far wall had ceased long ago, the chalk fading. But that didn't mean Rey still didn't remember. Her beloved Ben, her husband, her lover, the father of their child, still came to her every night. Some nights they would sit up in bed and talk. Other nights they would make love while their baby slept down the hall. Many, many kisses were still shared.

And always, Rey would say to him in a whisper, sometimes when he was there in her arms by night, or even sometimes when she would glance to the twin suns by day: "Ben Solo, I'll love you until the day I die."

And she did.


End file.
